the songs of moses

Because friends write down funny things that other friends say…

• “So Moses, have you called Rachael yet about picking up your phone?” – John Pachter
• “Swafty” -Cassy
• “No Charge for Awesomeness… or attractiveness.” -Kungfu Panda
• “So I was witnessing to these two Hispanic guys…and they gave me twenty dollars.” -Josh Page
• “You carry a murse, I am a murse.” -Jamie Pachter (male +nurse)
• “What? I would so be eating my seat!” -Ben Fetterolf (if swing seats were made of chocolate)
• “So why do we add qualifications for Deacons in the church constitution when the Bible already has qualifications? Because we want to be wise? Is the Bible not freaking wise?” -Ben Fetterolf
• “His shirt size is ‘age 23.’” -John Pachter
• *Sean has a pile of decaying floral matter in his car, we’re not sure why*
  Cassy: “Sean, your car smells like dead flowers!”
  *looking at the pile of flowers*
  Sean: “Why IS THAT?”
• You have heard it said, “You shall not be gluttonous.”
  But I say unto you, if you look upon a slice of pizza with lust in your heart, you have already committed gluttony in your heart. -Ian (the man) McConnell
• Michelle: “Have you seen the new Pink Panther movie?”
  Becky: “No, but I liked the original series. I’m not sure what kind of cat that was, maybe a mountain lion.”
  Cassy: ” …or a panther?”
• “…I like stupid kids too.” -Julie Kennedy
• “Christ died for our sins…he was buried… Oh Crap!” *having forgotten the end of the verse* -Ben
• “I shaved my legs once… it really wasn’t a bad experience…if you keep up with it it’s not too bad, but if you let it go, it gets prickly.” -John Pachter
• “Where are you car?” -Ben Fetterolf (a “take luck” composed of “Where are you parked?” and “Where is your car?”)
• *a moment of parental wisdom and discipline at the McConnels’*
  “He big my feet!” -Piper
  “She asked me too! -Paeson
  *after a pause where we couldn’t hear what was being said in the other room*
  “This is the lesson you can learn, people do not want their feet bitten.”
• “Pizza…wings…Molly!” -Ben
• “The big cup is blue cheese for the wings and the little one next to it is John’s weenie ranch sauce.” -Ian
• “So if you cross a dachshund with a poodle you get a doodle, and a poodle and a lab you get a labradoodle.” -moses
  “I wonder what would happen if you crossed a Shitzu with a Poodle… you’d get like a shit-poo.” *realizing her mistake and covering her mouth* -molly
  “That’s kinda redundant.” -Cassie
• “The hospital lost Piper for an hour after she was born…I’m pretty sure you’re mine though.” -Rachel *looking down at Piper*
  “Yesh.” -Piper *looking up at mommy in a very matter of fact way*
• “You look very huggable.” -Sean
  “If you jump on me, I think I’m going to punch you.” -Moses
• *Pointing at a picture of Nelson Mandela in dead seriousness*
  “Hey, the liberty bell must be cool, Morgan Freeman likes it!” -Sam Sutter
• “Yesh” -Piper
• *Lifting her hands up in the air in a hot nursery filled with kids*
  “Sorry guys, I just need to arm my air pits.” -Karey Mayfield
• “I spent like three years on the phone with Dell between yesterday and today.” -Julie (resident expert on temporal mechanics)
• “I’ve heard a lot of cursing this summer; my friend [Allison] curses a lot.” -Candice
  “Me too.” -Julie
• “McDonalds is a disgrace to all food.” -Moses
  “Yep.” -Sean
  “You guys can’t be doin’ that to me; I love McDonalds.” -Ben
  “Well… I’m glad you enjoy it Ben.” -Moses
  “By which we mean that we are secretly judging you.” -Sean
• “I parked way over on Rutland… can you come outside and watch when I get mugged.” -Cassy